Google hit me recently with one of those "rediscover this day" reminders. On this particular day three years ago I was on what was supposed to be a really fun ski trip with my family.
All I remember from that trip is the intense money shame and anxiety I was feeling.
I was about five months full-time into my business, had no money coming in, and was totally freaked out about what I was going to do.
I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone or tell them what was going on, because I felt like a complete failure.
I was basically living off my credit cards, and was terrified to check the balances because I knew I wasn't going to be able to pay them off.
I was trying to do all the things - budget the money I didn't have, spend less than the shoestring I was already trying to keep myself on, market the business that didn't feel aligned and scared the crap out of me.
It took another five months for things to get bad enough to force me to try something that - at the time - felt so radical and different it was almost silly.
Money mindset work.
I realized that none of the conventional advice I was hearing - track my spending, create categories for my expenses, market my business in order to make more sales, etc., was going to work unless I dealt with the deep existential money fear and anxiety that was ever-present in my life.
Unless I dealt with the emotional, spiritual, and psychological aspects of money I knew nothing else was going to work.
Because ultimately, it's not actually about money. Money is a portal and a mirror for all the other limiting beliefs, fears, self-doubt, and other bullshit that we unconsciously carry that keeps us small.
So, I surrendered. I let myself look "silly." I got extra woo, practicing visualization, EFT tapping, and checks from the Universe. I committed to a daily routine to keep myself high-vibe. I made my mindset my absolute number one priority over anything else.
Some of it worked. Some of it didn't.
But it worked enough that today, I've paid off my debt, created a successful business, and most importantly, have a thriving relationship with money that carries over into all other areas of my life.
There is a lot of spiritual misinformation and bypassing that goes into this conversation, and I'm committed to radical transparency around my experience and what I've discovered ACTUALLY works.
Here's the top counterintuitive five things I've learned that work every time:
1. Feel your feelings.
Yes, even the bad ones. Yes, even the ones that you're worried are projecting "negativity" into the world. Feelings buried alive never die, they just go underground into your subconscious where they mess with your manifestations in the real world. So do what you need to do to feel it all in order to clear it and call in more positive feelings.
2. Celebrate your messes.
The money mistakes, mess-ups, totally fucked up situations that may be in your past (or present)? They're all showing you the way home, highlighting the places you have room to grow, and the limiting stories that you have that are ready to get healed. Think about it - without those situations, you wouldn't be inspired to heal your money stuff, right?? Right. So thank them.
3. Practice active appreciation.
This is different from gratitude, which can feel empty and hollow when we're deep in our stuff. Practicing active appreciation puts you back in the drivers seat by meeting whatever you're appreciating on equal ground. For example, in order to deeply, actively appreciate a cup of coffee I would notice its aroma, it's robust flavor, appreciate how good it tastes and how much it wakes me up. This puts me in a feel-good spiral of appreciating other things around me and pulls me out of a self-pitying funk every time.
4. Get radically honest.
In every area. About everything. Get honest about what you want, how big your dreams are, how far away you might feel from them, and how afraid you are they may never come to fruition. Oftentimes we deny or bottle up our thoughts because we're afraid, but getting radically honest about all of it frees you up
5. TAKE ACTION.
Even if it's as small as calling a friend to cry. Even if it's as big as tracking your finances for the past quarter. Take as big or as small of a step as you can, acknowledge yourself, rinse, and repeat.
I believe in you,