I've worked with hundreds of women in my coaching career, and one of the most common refrains I hear is that:
I just need more confidence. If I had more confidence, everything [signing clients, making money, putting myself out there] would be easier.
Unfortunately, confidence is the wrong place to start. We can think that to overcome fear and self doubt we need more confidence, when what you really need is CLARITY.
Having clarity on what you want, what problem you solve, and how you solve it is a game-changer. Because then self doubt becomes irrelevant. You will be pulled forward by your vision instead of hamstrung by your fears. So how do you get clarity?
Answer the following questions:
What problem do you want to solve? All great ideas start by seeing a gap. I've been listening to the How I Built This Podcast a lot recently and every single interview has something in common - they saw a gap or a problem or a missing piece in the world, and decided to create a solution. Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, came up with the idea because she couldn't wear normal underwear with a pair of white pants. So, she solved her own problem, and the problem of millions of other women.
What's your solution? What would you LOVE to see happen in response to that problem? For me, I see too many women holding themselves back because of fear and self-doubt, so I have dedicated myself to creating as many inspirational, educational, and transformational experiences as possible (including coaching, writing, and speaking) so that they can access their magic and create change in the world. Your solution can be coaching, or it could be a product or a different kind of service.
What do you stand for? When asked, most of know what we are AGAINST. But if we focus on the negative we get more negative back, so a much more effective question is what are you FOR? It could be organic food for everyone, or a good night's sleep, or happy, healthy children. You can stand for things in your personal life as well as in your business, and it's very possible they will overlap. For example, one of my clients is an intuitive counselor and she stands for everyone to get in touch with their intuitive knowing to change their life - which happens to be what she teaches.
What's your vision? Knowing your vision, your WHY, for your personal life and for the world, is one of the most powerful exercises you can undertake. Having a crystal-clear vision will help pull you forward, even when fear and self doubt want to hold you back. One of my favorite quotes is, "the only prerequisite to leadership is having a vision for change," so whether that's a small change in your family life or a world-changing movement, clarifying and staying connected to your vision is one of the most powerful things you can do.
So next time you're thinking to yourself, I just wish I had more confidence, check yourself. Where are you unclear? Where have you gotten disconnected from your vision, your solution, or what you stand for? Spend some time getting reconnected, and watch inspiration soar.
I would LOVE to hear your answers and reflections on these questions - come on over to our Magic Circle Facebook group and share away!