It's a pretty common trope, right? "Outside your comfort zone is where the magic happens." "Get comfortable being uncomfortable." "No pain, no gain."
Many of us are well-versed in getting uncomfortable in service of our goals. But how about saying the uncomfortable thing to our communities, our clients, and even ourselves?
Most intuitive, sensitive, empathic women I know take on other people's feelings, so we don't like making other people uncomfortable, because we feel their discomfort. But the truth is, saying the uncomfortable thing is one of the most important parts of the growth process. If you're comfortable, I can bet you're not growing. And so it's your job as a coach and a leader to get comfortable saying the uncomfortable thing, so your clients can have that as well.
This also goes for being radically honest with ourselves - are we truly doing our best? Are we really saying what our intuition is showing us? Are we LIVING that out in the world?
Getting comfortable saying the uncomfortable thing has helped me IMMENSELY in getting closer to my goals and embodying who I'm meant to be.
The first time I truly had a breakthrough around saying the uncomfortable thing, it literally felt like a death. I thought I was going to die. And the truth is that part of me did die - the part of me that was addicted to people-pleasing, and being the nice girl, and valuing being liked over being powerful.
I shifted this by realizing that I am a channel for Spirit - that saying the bold thing actually had nothing to do with ME, or my ego, at all. It was in service to my people, or my client, by allowing Spirit to work through me. Once I got myself out of the way, it was immensely easier.
So, how do you go about this?
1. Understand that other people's reactions mean NOTHING ABOUT YOU - even if they get mad or triggered, or even hang up on you! (<-- always my worst fear). This doesn't mean anything about you or your skills as a coach, it just means that you've hit a nerve, and that a breakthrough is imminent, if they choose it.
2. Do your own work - get comfortable saying the uncomfortable thing to yourself. Digging deep into your shadow, taking actions outside of your comfort zone, and expanding your capacity to BE with discomfort for yourself will allow you to better support others. Remember, you can only take your clients as far as you're willing to go for yourself.
3. Remind them - and yourself - what you're committed to. Are you committed to growth, and transformation, and leadership? Or are you committed to the same-old, same-old? If you're reading this, I can bet it's the former, and staying present to that will help you create a breakthrough even when it feels so uncomfortable you want to hide under the covers.
4. Turn it over to Spirit. Understand that you are here to serve, and by you holding back you are doing a disservice. If you really want to help your clients (and yourself), asking for support and guidance in saying the bold thing is a game-changer (it was for me!)
As a leader, you are not here to make everyone comfortable, or even to have everyone like you. You are here to be of deep, authentic, honest service to the world and you can only do that by being deeply, authentically honest. And it starts with you.
I believe in you,