One of the things I’m most grateful for in my life are my girlfriends. One of the things I wanted most a few years ago was to surround myself with entrepreneurial, ambitious women on the same spiritual path as me, and now I’m so glad to be surrounded by them on the daily.
That said, when all of your friends have many of the same goals as you, and do similar work (even though, of course, everyone is different, has their own unique flavor, and is irreplaceable) it can be really easy to get caught in that most seductive of traps - dreaded comparison-itis.
A few weeks ago, it happened to me.
One of my bestest friends has been crushing it online lately - getting upwards of a hundred likes and dozens of comments on each of her posts. Her writing is on point, it obviously resonates with lots of people, and she’s a wonderful person who I love a lot.
And still, every time I saw her name pop up on my newsfeed, I gave an internal groan.
I’m not proud of this.
And, I also know that everyone who triggers us is a mirror for something unhealed within ourselves.
So, instead of isolating myself/ projecting onto her/ continuing to get sucked into that shitty comparison rabbit hole, I took a good, hard look at myself.
What the heck was so triggering about this?
And I realized,
Comparing myself to her was yet another manifestation of my “not good enough” story.
Deep down, I was afraid that since she was crushing it, it meant I was not good enough.
My message isn’t good enough.
My writing’s not good enough.
I am not good enough.
Now, I know this is not true. But there is still a part of me that is afraid that it is, and it was coming up to be heard.
As soon as I realized that that was what was going on, I was able to shift into love.
Love for myself, and that part of me that is afraid.
Love for my friend, for showing me what’s possible.
Love for my message, and my business, exactly where it is right now.
And then, I was able to re-focus back on my own work, keep my eyes on my own paper, and stop comparing myself to people on Facebook.
Comparing yourself to other people is an ego trap that distracts you from creating your own magic. When we feel triggered by someone else, it’s always, always an opportunity to go deeper into our own healing.
Ultimately, the world needs all of us, being as vocal as we can, original as we can, and we can’t do that if we’re stuck comparing ourselves to each other.
So, next time you’re feeling “not good enough” because of what you see on social media, take a beat. Ask yourself what this experience is trying to show you. And re-focus on making your magic.