Oftentimes, when we realize that we’re not where we want to be, we think we have to beat ourselves up to get there. We set goals, and #hustle, and #grind, and #getafterit. If we’re not hustling and grinding, obviously we’re just lazy and we don’t want it bad enough.
This culture of goal setting is really toxic because oftentimes life doesn’t work like that. You can hustle and grind all you want, but if you’re not working on the unconscious limiting beliefs and patterns that created the original situation in the first place, nothing will change.
There is always a vitally important reason for your current situation.
I was coaching a client recently who was having anxiety around a tele-class she was about to give. She was afraid no one was going to come, so she “hadn’t really promoted it.” Her fear of no one coming became a self-fulfilling prophecy. In the hustle and grind world, this would look like an epic failure.
However, deeper questioning revealed the truth – she was actually afraid that if people did come on the tele-class, she would somehow mess it up or get it wrong. So in that context, no one coming on the call was a huge success! You can’t mess up if no one is there. Uncovering that fear and creating a new story – in this case, a story that it’s impossible to mess up – helped her feel more confident and ready to share her message.
When there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to be, there’s always a good reason. No amount of hustle, grind, shame, or beating yourself up will help in the long run.
Look at where you’re shaming yourself for not being where you want to be. Then ask, how is this situation serving me? What are the benefits here? Only by uncovering the hidden positive will you create the conditions for effortless change.
I believe in you,